snowodin
New Member
The Written Artist
Posts: 38
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Post by snowodin on May 7, 2010 16:35:49 GMT -5
I'm currently working on a Poem for mother's day... Can you guys tell me what you think about it?
I appreciate all you've done All the joy you've brought me All the things you've bought me That you took me as your son Although I don't remember it all I remember we used to laugh We had such great times and fun The happiness never seemed to fall Then as I could walk I began to wander I kept going father and farther Eventually, I could talk When I could learn, you taught me From you I learned to ride my bike I learned my language, the way I speak And for this, I humbly thank thee I grew older still, and went to school You didn't see me as much I know you were sad then But still you kept your cool Eventually I, in school, was bullied You took me out because you cared You took your own time to teach me For this, my gratitude fullied And now I am a teen I know I'm not the best But I really do try To be as little mean And now, on this day, know that I'm fine Today I will be the helper, the supporter The one to encourage, the one to cheer up Today, all those responsibilities, are mine.
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Post by moonmomma on May 7, 2010 18:36:24 GMT -5
no comments to make on the writing, but as a mom myself i can tell you that this will totally make her day!
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Post by plasticat on May 7, 2010 20:39:22 GMT -5
Really nice job!
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snowodin
New Member
The Written Artist
Posts: 38
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Post by snowodin on May 7, 2010 23:11:18 GMT -5
Thanks you two! :3
And, @ moonmomma, thanks for reassuring me on that. I've been worrying that it wouldn't meet mother standards, or a mother's watchful eye on errors and whatnot. You lifted a bit of weight off of me. ^^
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